Sympathy flowers etiquette: A guide to expressing condolences

When grief strikes, words often fall short. In the face of loss, whether it be the passing of a loved one, the sting of a job loss, or the weight of a health challenge, expressing our deepest sympathies can feel like a daunting task. Yet, offering comfort and support is crucial. And throughout history, flowers have served as a powerful and universal language of condolence, conveying emotions in a way that transcends words. 

Navigating the world of condolence flowers, however, can be tricky. With diverse options and traditions, it's important to choose arrangements that offer solace and avoid unintended missteps. This guide will help you send a floral tribute that truly resonates and brings comfort during challenging times. 


White lilies

When should you send sympathy flowers?

There's no single "right" time to send sympathy flowers, but here's a helpful guide based on different situations: 

For bereavement 

- As soon as you hear of the death: This shows your promptness and support during the initial shock and grief. 

- After the funeral: Though traditionally sent before or during the service, sympathy flowers can still be a thoughtful gesture even weeks later, reminding the grieving that you're still thinking of them. 

- Special occasions: Consider sending flowers on anniversaries of the death, birthdays of the deceased, or holidays to show ongoing support. 

For other situations 

- Job loss: Soon after the news, a bouquet can express empathy and encouragement during this challenging transition. 

- Serious illness: While in the hospital or during recovery, flowers can brighten their day and show you're thinking of them. 

- Other hardships: During any difficult time, like a divorce or natural disaster, flowers can offer a gentle gesture of support and care. 

Where should you send sympathy flowers?

Where to send sympathy flowers depends on the situation and preferences: 

For bereavement 

- Home of the bereaved: This is the most personal option, offering comfort in their private space. 

- Funeral home: Coordinate with the funeral director to ensure timely delivery, but be aware that these may not be taken home afterwards. 

- Place of work: For colleagues, sending flowers to their office can be appropriate, but wait until they return from compassionate leave. 

For other situations 

- Home of the recipient: For situations like illness or job loss, sending flowers directly to their home offers comfort in their personal space. 

- Hospital room: When someone is hospitalised, sending flowers can brighten their environment and show you're thinking of them. 

- Place of work: Depending on company policy, sending flowers to their office desk can offer support during a challenging time at work. 

White bouquet

What flowers are best for conveying sympathy?

Choosing the right type of flowers is another essential element of sympathy flowers etiquette. Here are some of the most popular flowers for sympathy, along with their meanings: 

- Lilies are classic sympathy flowers that symbolise purity, innocence, and new beginnings. They are often associated with the Virgin Mary and are seen as a symbol of peace and comfort. 

- In many cultures, chrysanthemums are associated with death and mourning. However, in Western cultures, they have come to symbolise respect and honour. 

- In some cultures or contexts, Alstroemeria can be used in sympathy arrangements due to its soft colours and elegant shape, conveying comfort and peace. 

- Tulips are cheerful flowers symbolising hope and new beginnings. They’re a good choice for expressing sympathy to someone who has lost a young person. 

- Carnations are popular sympathy flowers, symbolising remembrance and love. 

What colour are sympathy flowers?

There's no one "right" colour for sympathy flowers, as it depends on various factors like your personal preference, the recipient's personality, and cultural norms. Here's a breakdown of common choices and their meanings: 

- White is the most common colour for sympathy flowers, symbolising peace, purity, innocence, and reverence. Popular white flowers include lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

- Often associated with love, compassion, and grace, pink is a comforting choice. Lighter shades signify innocence and purity, while deeper shades express gratitude and appreciation. 

- Symbolising hope, friendship, and warmth, yellow can be an uplifting choice. 

- Pastel shades of pink, blue, and purple represent love, sympathy, and remembrance. These colours can be a good option if you want something more cheerful than white. 

- Purple denotes respect, admiration, and dignity, often associated with wisdom and spirituality. 

White funeral wreath

What shouldn’t you do when sending sympathy flowers?

What’s the etiquette for sending flowers when someone dies? Sending sympathy flowers is a thoughtful gesture to express your condolences during a difficult time. However, there are some things to avoid to ensure your message is conveyed appropriately. Here are some key things not to do: 

- Leave the card blank: Even if you find it hard to express yourself, including a heartfelt message in the card is crucial. It shows you care and allows you to personalise your gesture. A simple "Thinking of you" or "With deepest sympathy" is better than no message at all. 

- Choose flowers based on your own preferences: Consider the recipient’s favourite flowers, colours, or personality rather than your own. 

- Neglect cultural or religious sensitivities: Some cultures have specific customs regarding flowers and mourning practices. Research beforehand to ensure your gesture is respectful and appropriate. 

Uncertain about what to send? Eflorist offers a variety of mixed bouquets featuring fresh, sustainable flowers — an ideal choice for a thoughtful gesture. Explore popular options such as Forever, White Lilies, I Am With You, and White Roses

Whichever flowers you send, remember it’s the gesture that counts. Eflorist’s dedicated support team is on hand to answer your questions. Be sure to contact us to learn more about our floral tributes and delivery services.