Mother’s Day Matters: A Tale of Labour, Love, and Mental Load
The thing about Mother’s Day is that it isn’t just about ticking a box on the calendar as you do with Halloween or some mate’s birthday.
Mother’s Day is for recognising your mum’s infallible love for you and the absolute grind she puts in to keep your family happy, even during the tough stuff.
There’s a great deal of nuance to this, of course. You might not see your mum often, rarely see eye to eye, or be the best of friends and inseparable.
And yet, this is mum, and no matter your relationship, Mother’s Day matters more to her than you think. It’s a date worth planning for and making the most of.
What mum does
Think about you, a lot. It probably takes up one moment in every hour of her day. She has you in her bones, see. There’s time between you that no inanimate relationship is capable of replicating. That’s what makes mums special.
When she’s not thinking about you, she’s likely doing something for you, or doing something for someone else she cares about. Selflessness is the word.
We might be going out on a limb here, but the complaints from mum aren’t exactly numerous or particularly big, either. Everything is taken in her stride, a quality that comes with experience and having to bring you up (no offence).
Mother’s Day is the day for showing you recognise what mum does. Aside from her birthday, it’s the best day on the calendar to do it.
Why Mother’s Day matters to you
Let’s be logical and imagine that you’re mum. For the whole month leading up to Mother’s Day, you see reminders about it. You don’t expect the world on the day, but you imagine that it’s something you’ll get to experience.
Now imagine it doesn’t happen. Imagine the disappointment. To save yourself from the epic failure of the year, it just makes sense to have a plan for it.
It makes sense to make mum happy and keep you in the good books.
Some really easy options:
• Buy Mother’s Day flowers to arrive on the day or before Mother’s Day.
• Cook her a meal; invite her over, or head to hers. Whichever kitchen works best.
• Book a restaurant for the day. Word of caution, though - you should anticipate it being very busy and book ahead, ideally by weeks.
• Book time away. A hot tub lodge, a B&B by the coast, even a day out at your nearest National Park (provided the weather’s decent, have a backup plan).
Why Mother’s Day matters to your mum
Forget the point above about disappointment. Think about recognition. Your mum does so much, so much of which isn’t ever noticed.
Mother’s Day is a day worth taking. Deep down, there will be some desire to receive flowers or something else that makes a memory, and you can provide that.
Your mum also has or had a mum, just as your grandma did. The occasion goes way back, and there’s a certain amount of sentimentality that you shouldn’t miss.
Let’s recap some memories that’ll flood through your mum’s head on the day:
• Giving birth to, adopting, or fostering you
• Every birthday party she threw for you
• All the other Mother’s Day cards you’ve given her before
• All the Mother’s Day shenanigans she had with her own mum
Those are only off the top of our heads. There’s plenty of bits between. Giving on Mother’s Day brings those memories together in one positive moment.
Celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way
Your mum has unique things in her life that she enjoys that we can’t hazard a guess at. Those are the best things to enable on Mother’s Day.
If it’s history she loves, any museum day out will do nicely. Most museums have free entry, too.
The standard Mother’s Day goes something like this:
• Greet her in the morning
• Give her a card, some flowers
• Go out for, or plan for, a meal in the not-too-distant future
Nothing wrong with any of that. In fact, it’s more than good enough! But if you want to do something a bit more unique, you can follow this exercise:
• Write down five things that your mum does during the week for herself. Failing that, write down the last five events (or however many you know) that she went to on her own or with her friends. These are your activity inspirations
• Find out her favourite colour and flower type. A dead giveaway is the flowers she keeps in vases indoors, and the colours in her garden come spring and summer. These are your inspirations for flowers on the day. Some safe options:
• Write down her three favourite foods and look at local restaurants that serve the right grub, then make a shortlist based on their reviews. Don’t leave it too late to book, three weeks in advance is the norm for Mother’s Day.
Sometimes, the bare minimum will do
Not everyone can do much for Mother’s Day. No shame in that. A card will do, send it by post or give it in person. Just try to avoid e-cards; they don’t have the same sentimentality.
Alternatively, send flowers with a greeting note; you could even add chocolates or a vase to your order with Euroflorist. Consider same-day flowers if you’ve left it late. And even if you are late, if you’re sending by post, your mum will forgive it.
In any case, the rule is simple for Mother’s Day: do not forget it. It matters to your mum. Her labour and mental load deserve your love on the day.